My First Experience With Loss
The loss of a pet, especially a Chihuahua, a beloved best friend is one of the most difficult times of a person’s life. I lost my first furry friend when I was four years old. Nicky was a Border Collie mix. Border Collies are an intense athletic dog that can drive you crazy with obsessive and destructive behaviors if you don’t provide lots of exercise and creative outlets for his energy.
We had an adequate sized yard for him to roam and play in. But because of his excessive energy and need for tons of exercise, he would dig under the fence and escape.
The animal control was very diligent in our neighborhood. Needless to say, poor Nicky was picked up many times and my mother would have to go rescue him and bring him back home. Each time it cost money to have him released.
I lived with my mother and grandmother at the time, just us three. The last time that Nicky decided to go check out the neighborhood my mother was short of funds. She called the shelter and ask if they would hold Nicky until payday, which was a week or so away. They agreed.
The Devastating News
When my mother went to pick him up she was told that he had passed away. My mother and I were heartbroken and devastated. Neither one of us had experienced the loss of a dog, a beloved pet before. She was told that Nicky would not eat. Finally, they figured out that he would only eat if a female brought the food (there were no males in our house and he was used to being fed by one of us three females). But it was too late. No one knew that he would do that, but, my mother felt very guilty and responsible for Nicky’s death.
A Border Collie was not the best dog for our situation. My mother worked and my grandmother was too old to make sure that Nicky had the exercise and mental stimulation that he needed to curb his need to go exploring. But, at the time we didn’t know.
There were no children my age in our neighborhood, so Nicky was just about my only playmate. I still remember all these years later the pain I felt at the loss of a pet dog, my beloved Nicky.
Some People Just Don’t Get It
Because I was only four, I don’t remember exactly who it was, but I vividly remember an adult woman asking me what was wrong. When I told her, she said: “For heaven’s sake, it’s just a dog!” I still remember how I felt then. She made me feel that I was silly and stupid for caring so much. She had no sympathy for the loss of a dog or the loss of any pet for that matter, that to me was much more than a dog, he was my best friend.
I don’t tell you this for sympathy, just a lesson in the fact that not everyone will be sympathetic about your loss. Pick and choose who you share your grief with.
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Now as an adult I realize that not everyone “gets it”. Those that don’t have pets, or just aren’t “pet people” just can’t comprehend the deep attachment and love that one can feel for their beloved dog, — or other pets — especially a Chihuahua!
My mother wanted to get another dog for me right away while my grandmother was determined that there would be no more pets.
Facing The Inevitable
If you are a dog owner then you either have experienced the pain of the loss of a pet or it is inevitable that you will. Although I have since Nicky experienced the loss of other dogs, I had not grown as attached as I was with Nicky until I got my first Chihuahua.
My Chico is now 17, so I know that it won’t be long that I will have to cope with his loss somehow. It’s something that I think of often and something that I dread. ~ UPDATE: We lost our precious Chico on 7-17-20. See his remembrance video HERE.
If you read my blog regularly, then you also know that although Pebbles is only 13, which is relatively young for a Chihuahua, she has severe health problems, so I know I am soon facing it with her too. See: Is Your Chihuahua at Risk of Heart Disease?
That is why I am writing this to give you (and myself) some strategies to help you handle your grief. These strategies are from my book, “How to cope with the loss of a pet”. You can find it on Amazon. However, I am re-writing it to pertain to Chihuahuas specifically. So, you should probably wait for that one to be published in the near future.
If you lose a beloved best friend, nothing will be exactly the same again, but, you have to start to pick up the pieces and find a new normal in your life at some stage.
6 Effective Strategies
- Cut Yourself Some Slack!
- Choose Who To Share Your Grief With
- Get a Keepsake
- Find a Special Place
- Document Your Life With Your Pet
- Help a Local Shelter or Foster
Cut yourself some slack! Crying, even sobbing is normal and can be therapeutic. Many people see their beloved dog as their child and someone they need to protect. So when a loss happens it can be intense grief that may take a long time to get past. There are several phases of grief (what those stages are can be found in my book) and every individual goes through them differently and for different periods of time. Don’t expect your grief to be as exactly as someone else’s is or was.
Carefully choose who to share your grief with. As I already mentioned, not everyone “gets it”, so don’t even attempt to share your grief or talk to someone that may not be sympathetic. If you have a friend that you know will be comforting, then, by all means, talk to them. It may also be helpful to write down your feelings. Start a journal and write down all the good times you had together and all the unique things that you loved about him or her. Remember that you provided a warm and loving home for a fur baby and that because of you, they had a good life.
Get a keepsake as a remembrance or to honor your beloved pet. Get a beautiful urn to put your dog’s ashes in. Many people may want to feel that their pet is close to them, so an urn is a great option if that is the case for you. There are many options to choose from so take a look at what is available and make the choice that suits you best. Take your time making this decision and make sure that you find one that will help you to remember all the good times you had together each time you look at it. There are even several choices of jewelry and other memorial keepsakes to keep some of your pet’s ashes.
Find a special place. Bury your beloved pet or their ashes in a special place in your garden. Do you have a pretty and peaceful place in your backyard? There are stones and plaques, or buy a small shrub and dedicate the area to your beloved dog. Maybe under a favorite tree. Buy a bench you can put there as a place you can go to just sit and reflect or read a book. Make sure that you own the property and find out the rules in your area for burying an animal in your yard. Your veterinarian will know the laws in the area where you live.
Document your life together. Make a scrapbook of your life together. Document their life in words and pictures by writing down your thoughts and then adding photos and other documents that relate to your beloved dog. This makes a special keepsake for those times that you can return to time and time again. It can bring you much comfort for those times that you are feeling low, just pick up the book and remember the wonderful life you had together.
Biodegradable Pod Casket
Celebrate the memory of your much-loved pet with the eco-friendly and heart-warming monument of the Paw Pods Biodegradable Pod Casket. Made with all-natural materials like bamboo powder and rice husk, this pet burial pod is an easy, inexpensive and eco-friendly way to cope with the loss of a beloved pet.
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